Have you ever had a moment when you felt like you could handle your child's situation better? Or maybe the mother's guilt makes you question everything you've done for your child.
Mother's guilt, or the feeling that the mother did something wrong, is more common than you might think, even if the mother doesn't ostensibly say it. No one gives you a manual on how to raise a child, and no one provides an annual review or feedback like in a paid job. Simple: "This is your child. So lucky!"
Most of what you learn is a semi-assembled puzzle of experience, research, and intuition. Connecting with friends and family is often intimidating because you fear being judged or screwed up.
But you know what? These feelings are normal!
Being a mother often feels like an isolating but rewarding job. It's not a performance-based role, it's part of us. The pursuit of perfection in such circumstances is simply unattainable. Being a mother is a marathon and it takes a healthy relationship with yourself and your child to be successful.
So even if you don't like a good mom, what makes you a good mom? Here are five things you might not know about great moms:
1. The fact that you care means you are an amazing mom:
Let's reverse these negative emotions and look at them differently. The fact that you don't think of yourself as a great mom shows that you are quite the opposite. You care deeply about where you think you're failing. Turn it around and ask yourself, "How can I do better next time?"
2. Will not make you a bad mom someday:
We all have days like this! Feeling like you don't have enough patience or you're too tired. They usually show up when you haven't taken care of yourself or after a long day at work. Don't worry - tomorrow is a new day. A good night's sleep can work wonders, remember, it's not just the day that shapes your child, it's the sum of the day.
3. Our mistakes do not define us:
If you've ever had a time when you felt like you could handle a situation better or gave in too easily, you're not alone. We've all experienced it. Discuss with your partner and strategize for the next time it happens. Consistency is important, and it can be helpful to have support around you when changing your discipline or routine.
4. It is easy to believe lies when you are tired:
Listening to the inner dialogue, especially when you're tired, isn't great. When you're stressed or exhausted, it's easy to rely on what your brain might be telling you. Instead, turn off the power, go to bed earlier, and reassess your thoughts in the morning. You will be able to think about them more logically and stop them often when you are well rested.
5. Your qualities make you a great mom:
There are many qualities that make a great mom. Patience, respect, strength, humility, empathy, support, and love are all examples of qualities that mothers possess in us. Try to imagine yourself when you feel or respond to these qualities. If you can't do this, try to take some time to allow yourself to rebuild your patience and strength. It allows you to shine in your maternal qualities.
With influencers chanting on social media what motherhood should be like, it's no wonder you might feel the pressure to be a good mom. We all start motherhood with an idea of what we think motherhood is, and over time we realize it's just simple "mess." Being a mother, then, is about dealing with the chaos, letting go of the chaos, and just being there. The quality of your personality and the fact that you care enough to even read this article shows that you're not just a good mom, you're a good mom.
